Submitted by Lux Living reader, Jeanne.
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Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Stuyvesant Town: A Shot at Love
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4 comments:
I heard that there is going to be a wet t-shirt contest at OvalSex and that Edna Doodle and Mother are entering in it. That should be interesting. If nothing else will scare away the pigeons, that will! In fact, it will probably scare away the hawks and the falcons too!
Hey, ladies! Are you a lowly rent stabilized tenant, and feel like you don’t fit in, longing to have that vacant, pod person look of a market rate tenant, like the popular Tila Tequila? Well, Tish Spy is not just determined to improve the buildings and grounds, but wants all their tenants to feel and look luxurious too, so nobody feels left out! Thanks to Oval Scalpel, you can fool the masses into believing you’re a market rate renter, even though you can barely make ends meet! Our unlicensed surgeons will transform your unique appearance of an actual human being into that of a homogenized, Stepford-like, market rate renter, so you can share their exact bland faces, mannerisms and irritating vocal qualities, yet nobody will be the wiser that you’re really a rent stabilized loser, just like they are!
This week only with every procedure: Free baby doll dress, pair of flip flops, glittery cell phone case, and inhalations of helium from our large cannisters so you’ll speak with an unbearable squeaky, nasal voice, and sound like a member of Alivn and the Chipmunks....just like a market rate renter! Don’t wait! Visit Oval Scalpel for a free consultation today!
I am sorry, but mother and I will not be appearing in any contests involving t-shirts, wet or otherwise. And you, anonymous sir or madam, will never be the man that mother is!
OvalScalpel here I come! I totally want to look like a young market rater. I am totally shedding my house dress and curlers which totally make it like so obvious that I am totally a rent stabilized loser. Can I like get some tatoos at the same time?
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