Stuyvesant Town residents were informed this week that new laundry rooms are on the way and just in time as the old laundry rooms installed only three years ago just scream Starrett City!
On the plus side residents are pleased that each building, with an estimated ninety-nine apartments each, will no longer have to share just six washers and eight dryers. The days of rodeo-sized roaches and homeless squatters will also be a thing of the past along with empty vending machines and fluorescent lighting.
The new laundry rooms will have fifty new washing machines and sixty new dryers, enough to accommodate the gangs of maids who insist on washing seven loads simultaneously. A soap concierge will be on hand to make suggestions as to which detergent is right for your skin type. The new laundry rooms will also be supplied with HEPA Filters and wet bars to make the experience all the more luxurious.
On the downside the renovations will take eight months not counting the accidental fires and flooding caused by the undocumented day laborers contracted to do the work. Since Stuyvesant Town’s astronomical rents have forced all of the local laundromats to close, residents are encouraged to take their clothes to Stuyvesant Cove and beat them on a rock.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Dreamy New Laundry Rooms Coming Soon!
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6 comments:
Love it!!!
Thanks for the segue...
Has anyone else noticed the white vans that unload hoards of plain clothed workers every morning?? I'm wondering where Tish Spey scouts for these men and are they undocumented or documented? Maybe it's time to ask Dateline, 20/20 or To Catch A Predator?!
Keep up the good work, Lux Living! You make my day!
Believe that those workers are former rent-stabilized tenants who were shipped off to Staten Island and New Jersey when their leases were not renewed. You can see them shaping up at the entrances to the Holland Tunnel and the Verrazano Bridge each weekday morning at 5 am.
Well here's what the Gentle Giants are up to! Scientists at Tishman-Speyer have discovered an enzyme that digests proteins found in common laundry stains. The enzyme is produced by a bacterium found only in Stuy Town waterbugs. The enzyme works efficiently at normal wash temperatures and especially thrives in the brown water water for which Stuyvesant Town is justly famous.
Hello new, new laundry rooms! Goodbye stains!
Actually, Lux Living, some of us have been doing our laundry on the rocks at Stuyvesant Cove for quite a while now. Considering that the rocks are a hell of a lot of cleaner than our Starret City-style laundry facilities (actually I think Starret City would be insulted to hear that comparison)and the wild life is more friendly we in the Cove Wash Club really enjoy our weekly sudsing and fluffing and folding at the Cove. The water, although cold, is a lot cleaner than what comes out of the taps in Stuyvesant Town; in fact, we don't even have to use any Clorox. We beat our clothes on the rocks and sing in unison - Kumbaya when we are doing the delicates and woollens, but we like a little hip hop when we are working on the heavily soiled items. We enjoy rubadubbing the really soiled items to a little Snoop Dogg. It kind of channels the aggression in us. It's really a social event as well as taking care of a necessary chore. We usually meet on a Saturday morning at around 8. It's a lot better than putting money into those one-armed bandit machines in the Stuytown laundry rooms. Has anyone noticed that when you do manage to find a machine that actually works, it only puts about two cups of water into the drum and that is supposed to get clothes clean. They're not so much High Efficiancy as they are Highway Robbery!
I love your blog and am so glad I happened upon it. Finally, someone who REALLY understands what living in Stuyvesant Town is all about. I can't wait until the luxury transformation here is completed in the year 2100.
The new laundry rooms are tied into the latest kitchen renovations in the market rate apartments. The dishwashers will turn into washing machines with the flick of a switch. Who said there's no room in these 2' x 3' kitchens?
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