Lux Living Has Moved

Thank you for reading Lux Living.

Over the weekend we moved from our Blogger tenement to our new lux living website. Our new site is www.stuytownluxliving.com. There will be no additional MCI charges for the new website.

Over the next week, we will be importing all of the old comments to the new site so they won't be lost.

- Lux Living

Lux Living is Moving

Lux Living is taking the weekend off to prepare for the launch of our new website

Stuyvesant Town July 4th Spectacular

Stuyvesant Town is inviting its rent stabilized tenants to join them at their First Annual 4th of July Spectacular in Stuyvesant Oval for free food, live music and a fireworks display that is being hyped as “breathtaking.”

Tishman Speyer hopes the event will demonstrate they are committed to servicing their meat and potato tenants. So committed, that market rate tenants are not invited to the event. Instead they will have to endure the lousy panoramic view of the so-so Macy’s fireworks from the roofs of Stuy Town.

The Tenants Among the Stars party in the Oval will include a plethora of mixed drink selections including an exotic, potent fruit punch from Guyana. Rent stabilized tenants who don’t pass out from being “intoxicated” will be herded to the center of the Oval to view the half hour long fireworks show in the TNT pit. The dramatic show with culminate with a spectacular surprise ending that involves special presents for the stabilized tenants to be dropped from stealth bombers.

Bring the kids!

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Thank you for reading the Lux Living archives. We have moved out of our Blogger tenement and into our new, luxurious website, www.stuytownluxliving.com. Please visit us there.

There will be no additional MCI charges for the new website.

Tuberculosis Scare Brings Down the Walls

As details about Manhattan’s most controversial “luxury” housing complex and its new plague begin to see the light, it’s becoming apparent that their interiors don’t. In another embarrassment for Stuyvesant Town and their clueless management company, Tishman Speyer, the complex has shut down the production of their pressurized walls because of a tuberculosis epidemic sweeping the complex.

The pressurized wall system was the earthworm on the hook of the Stuyvesant Town leasing office who lured tenants in by allowing them to build a fake wall, at their expense of course, so they could convert their living room into an additional bedroom. This would allow tenants the option of tolerating “luxury” roommates, making life in Stuyvesant Town almost affordable.

But then market rate tenants starting becoming sick, very sick, and Beth Israel Hospital noticed an increase in Stuyvesant Town residents catching tuberculosis. After several buildings were inspected by local health officials it was determined that the pressurized walls blocked out sunlight and prevented air from circulating in the luxury apartments.

“This is inexcusable,” said a health inspector who asked to remain anonymous. “New York City hasn’t seen such unhealthy living conditions since the days of the tenements on the Lower East Side.”

Speaking of which, following in the path of the Tenement Museum on the Lower East Side, Stuyvesant Town will soon be adding OvalSlum to their list of useless amenities sweeping the Oval. The half-baked museum will show how blond girls from red states are living with, like, roommates and stuff, and couldn’t get good cell reception, and, like managed to still get take out . OMG? WTF? Flip flop. Flip flop.

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Thank you for reading the Lux Living archives. We have moved out of our Blogger tenement and into our new, luxurious website, www.stuytownluxliving.com. Please visit us there.

There will be no additional MCI charges for the new website.

Stuyvesant Town's Pressure Walls Discontinued

It seems the flimsy, pressurized wall system Stuyvesant Town had used as a major selling point in pushing their overpriced, market rate apartments will no longer be offered. All of the information regarding the wall system has been removed from the Stuyvesant Town website.

A Stuy-Spy contacted Lux Living this morning after being informed by Stuy Town that the pressurized walls are no longer available to new tenants in Stuyvesant Town or Peter Cooper Village, though the tenant was offered "free privacy screens, the option to break out lease, [or] some sort of financial incentive." Management said there was an issue with the walls though they couldn't explain what the problem was or give any real details. They also said that all of the existing walls in ST/PCV will have to be replaced to bring them up to whatever code they are violating.

Lux Living called Stuyvesant Town’s management office this morning and confirmed the pressurized wall system was abruptly discontinued by Tishman Speyer last week. The rep we spoke with had no additional details.

Fire hazard? Cheap construction? It’s really anyone’s guess. The one thing we are sure of is that market rate tenants are clearly not getting preferential treatment for the extra bucks they pay.

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Thank you for reading the Lux Living archives. We have moved out of our Blogger tenement and into our new, luxurious website, www.stuytownluxliving.com. Please visit us there.

There will be no additional MCI charges for the new website.

Stuyvesant Town Construction Disaster Creates Majestic Waterfall Attraction

Undocumented day laborers created quite a spectacle Tuesday morning after breaking several water mains in a Stuyvesant Town building, causing millions of gallons of water to spill onto First Avenue.

Three apartments were secretly being combined on the thirteenth floor to make a lusty bachelor pad for Tishman Speyer’s President, Rob Speyer, so he could secretly entertain his rotating group of male “friends.” The clandestine project had been underway for several weeks and was problematic from the start when the illiterate workers began demolishing apartments on the twelfth floor.

“I have a hard time sleeping so I took an Ambien,” says traumatized tenant Alice Molinksy. “I woke up and found all these little guys drilling holes in my walls. I grabbed my bat and started beating them like piñatas! I didn’t know what else to do!”

Once the immigrant workers migrated to the correct floor, they began tearing down retainer walls and smashing out windows. Then yesterday they jack hammered water mains without first turning off the water supply, causing millions of gallons of water to flood the apartment creating a thirteen story waterfall on First Avenue.

Residents on the street below ran for their lives, narrowly averting death. On the plus side the water washed away the new leasing office being constructed directly below the falls, preventing potential tenants from being subjected to life in the “luxury” complex.

With a string of recent bad publicity including golf cart accidents, unlawful evictions, and profiling tenants who Stuyvesant Town and Peter Cooper Village advertise with, it’s no surprise Tishman Speyer did not return calls to comment on the incident.

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Thank you for reading the Lux Living archives. We have moved out of our Blogger tenement and into our new, luxurious website, www.stuytownluxliving.com. Please visit us there.

There will be no additional MCI charges for the new website.

Stuyvesant Town: A Shot at Love

Submitted by Lux Living reader, Jeanne.

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Thank you for reading the Lux Living archives. We have moved out of our Blogger tenement and into our new, luxurious website, www.stuytownluxliving.com. Please visit us there.

There will be no additional MCI charges for the new website.